Jax | 23 | Queer | Perpetually Exhausted | This was supposed to be an aesthetic blog but it turned into politics and shitposts

beholdingslut:

beholdingslut:

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this from the guy who wrote the sting pain index, a scale he constructed after letting himself be stung by insects

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“why did i start this list” pleaseeeeeee this is so funny

zonaisona:

zonaisona:

zonaisona:

as a kid i had one of those “there’s a monster under my bed” moments except real.

every night i would cry about a ghost or something trying to scare me by knocking on my bedroom windows and walls. like, really loudly, every hour or so, every night. only at night. so my dad was like “heh okay kiddo let’s check it out :) ah see? there’s nothing here :)” and left.

until years later he admitted to me that he did in fact hear the unexplainable knocking when he slept in that room one night, and it kept him awake with fear. and suddenly felt awful for not believing little kid me.

imagine your kid being like “daddy there’s a demon in my closet” and you being like ok son lemme just check that for you :). and you open the door and there’s a demon in the closet

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WHAT

angstandhappiness:

discodeerdiary:

discodeerdiary:

discodeerdiary:

Something that I first applied to working with children, and have applied in a limited form to working with adults: you don’t need to tell someone when they read your instructions wrong. Sometimes it’s enough to point out what they did right and then whatever they didn’t do? You ask them to do it in more precise words, and you make it sound like it’s a new request. Remarkable how fast things get done this way.

This is also a habit I built up from emergency response training. If I say “I need you to bring me a first aid kit and an accident report” and you bring me just a first aid kit, it’s so much more efficient to say “thanks now can you bring me an accident report” than “I asked you to bring an accident report why didn’t you bring me one”.

Once you’ve internalized “a person bleeding out is one of the worst times to start an argument” you start to wonder what other tasks could get accomplished without arguing

INTERESTING

luxtempestas:
“ poopcop:
“ luxtempestas:
“banished for poop related crimes
”
Would you like to file a report
”
who are you ”

luxtempestas:

poopcop:

luxtempestas:

banished for poop related crimes

Would you like to file a report

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who are you

etakeh:

In case you think the writers on strike aren’t making good use of their time, think no more!

tweet from Dan Amira @DanAmira I decided today that I’m going to see if I can find the restaurant with the highest number of brothers. I am on strike and have nothing better to do with my time. Please join me. 12:03 PM · Jul 17, 2023 included is a photo of a 2 bros pizzaALT
gonna go one brother at a time photo of a 3 bros pizzaALT
no surprises so far photo of four brothers pizzaALT
getting to be a lot of brothers but this was expected photo of five brothers kitchen & cafeALT
fine, sure photo of six brothers dinerALT
gotta be getting close to the end now... photo of cafe taverna barbcue seven brothersALT

Only click the read more if you’re fully prepared. I’m taking no responsibility past this point.

Keep reading

aropride:

jobs for autism boy NO phone call NO schedule NO talking to people NO emails NO computer programming or sex work NO becoming a youtuber NO starting a band NO leaving my house NO one gets mad at me. $27 per hour please

thedogeveryonehates:

roach-works:

captain-price-officially:

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environmental storytelling

the cumbrian cunt council will decide your fate

pansyfemme:

going to get your tubes tied and when ur done ur doctor shows you an ultrasouns and he’s tied them into a perfect baloon dog :)

masterboa:

injuries-in-dust:

mostly-funnytwittertweets:

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By growing it in the dark it means the rhubarb doesn’t place any energy and nutrition into growing leaves. So it puts everything into the edible stem and grows taller, more nutritious and tastier.

The candle light is just tradition. You could use electric lights if you wanted.

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ophidianrhapsody:

ninamodaffari:

so I didn’t know if female jesters had been a thing in the past and looked it up and was introduced to mathurine the fool, who gave one of the best burns in history in a silly little way.

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also she apparently stopped an assassination?? amazing.

[ID: She was known for her extravagant costume as an Amazonian warrior, complete with shield, armor, and a wooden sword. She was famous for her sharp wit, and there were many anecdotes about it. One of them was an occasion, in which a lady in waiting complained that she did not like having a fool at her right side, upon which Mathurine jumped to the lady’s other side and announced: “I don’t mind it at all.” /end ID]